


there are things that i wish you’d give me (but for now, this is enough)

by mermistia



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hugs, M/M, Miraculous AU, One-Sided Attraction, Pining, and, bc. soft, bug!ly, chat!river, except not rlly bc they’re in love THEY JUST DON’T KNOW IT YET, i love.... they, it’s riverway time again, kinda?? bug doesn’t get TOO upset
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-28
Updated: 2019-10-28
Packaged: 2021-01-04 04:14:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21191384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mermistia/pseuds/mermistia
Summary: Ly’s mind is racing, and River is always there to quiet it.





	there are things that i wish you’d give me (but for now, this is enough)

**Author's Note:**

> credit to @lemonadenebula on tumblr for the absolute galaxy brain idea of a riverway ml au

Catastrophe has never liked patrols. 

Sure, they’re an excuse to get outside in costume, but they’re so painfully boring, with nothing to do except stroll over the same rooftops that he’s walked over a million times before, eyes squinting over the streets for an akuma that he knows isn’t even there. 

It’s boring, and he _hates_ it, but it’s the responsible thing to do. 

Plus, it’s never all bad. 

Not when he has a partner to share it with. 

There’s a flash of white in the corner of Catastrophe’s eye, bright against the darkening sky before it disappears behind a roof, and he feels a smile come to his lips. Staring at empty streets may be something that he doesn’t want to waste his time doing, but staring at Bug is a whole other story, and he breaks into a run as he starts to laugh, pulling his baton out from behind him and propelling himself through the air. It lifts his mood almost immediately, feeling the cold wind run through his hair as the feeling of flying overtakes him, and he lands with a huff when words spoken with an annoyed tone bring him out of his trance. 

“What are you _doing?_”

He can almost feel Bug’s contempt as they stare down at him, and he leans forwards on his baton with a smile, letting his eyes meet theirs. “I was having fun. Good evening, M’Nonbinary.”

Bug’s face twists into annoyance, but there’s still a hint of amusement in their voice when they speak, arms folded across their chest and hips jutted out to the side. “Don’t call me that.”

River pouts, his eyes shining as he straightens up and shortens his baton, laughing when Bug scrunches their nose up at him. “Why not? I’ll let you call me a nickname.”

“Great!” Bug says, and River sticks his tongue out when their yo-yo crashes into his head, hitting him between the cat ears nestled in his hair before zooming back into their hand, their fingers curling around it as they stare back at him with a small smile on the edge of their lips. “Your nickname is idiot.”

“Harsh.”

“Harsh but true.”

“Harsh but absolutely _not_ true, thank you very much.”

Bug rolls their eyes, reaching a hand up to run fingers through their hair as they stare out across the rooftops, scanning the sky for any sign of distress or disturbance. “We should probably get back to patrolling, you know.”

River can tell there’s something wrong. 

They’re acting so normal, so teasing, so responsible, so _Bug,_ but mixed in with the amusement in their voice is a little bit of strain, like there’s something playing on a loop in their mind that they refuse to admit. 

He wants to help.

He _needs_ to help; he loves them. 

“Or,” Catastrophe says, “we could stay here,” and he lets his body drop onto the roof below him, sitting cross-legged and holding a hand above his head, gesturing for Bug to take it. 

He’s strangely surprised when they actually do. 

Their fingers link through his, squeezing tight, and they drop down beside him with their legs hanging off of the edge of the roof, swinging back and forth slowly so that their heels hit the side of the building with an almost rhythmic pattern. “Hm. I was expecting more resistance than that,” he says, and he feels another jolt of surprise when he leans over to rest his head on their shoulder and they don’t pull away, only squeeze his hand tighter and keep their eyes fixed on the horizon. “Are you okay, Bugaboo?”

He sees them smile slightly at the nickname before it’s replaced with a blank, neutral expression, not quite sad but not quite happy either. He doesn’t like it, he doesn’t like them looking that way, and his mind races as he searches for another way to give them something to smile about. 

“Do you ever wonder what’ll happen if we win? If we beat Hawkmoth and get his kwami back?”

It’s a question that Catastrophe wasn’t expecting, and he chokes on the answer as he stares up at Bug incredulously, searching their face for any kind of emotion behind the mask. Nothing. “Uh- sometimes, I guess.”

“We might have to give our miraculouses back,” Bug swallows hard, and River starts to see their eyes shining with the beginnings of tears as they continue to stare unblinkingly. “We wouldn’t be able to see each other again.”

“Hey,” his voice softens, and he sits up in a quick movement, taking Bug’s chin gently in his hand, tilting it so that their eyes pull away from the empty sky to look at his face instead. “We might. We both know that. But you won’t lose me, Bug.”

“We can’t know each other without the masks.”

“We can’t know each other _now_ without the masks,” he corrects, and leans in just a little closer. “To protect our identities. But if we don’t have secret identities, that problem sort of solves itself.”

There’s a silence as Bug takes in his words, their eyes searching his for any sign of insincerity, and they break into a smile when they don’t find any. A short laugh escapes their lips and they pull their face away from Catastrophe’s grasp, leaning backwards to sigh before leaning in again, shifting themself closer so their knee brushes against River’s. “For once, you’re actually right.”

River claps a hand to his heart, the bell at his neck letting out a soft sound when his thumb knocks against it. “For _once?_ You wound me, Bugaboo.”

“The thought of your face behind your mask wounds my eyeballs.” It’s a stupid comeback. River knows that, and he knows that they know that, but Bug seems to be proud of themself all the same, so he laughs along with them and pushes the palm of his hand against their shoulder gently, shoving them away a little. 

“Excuse you, you won’t be able to resist me. Not when you see the full extent of my charm and good looks. You’ll fall so in love that you’ll kiss me right there on the spot.”

“You wish.”

I do, he thinks. I wish for that _so_ desperately, and his mind is screaming at him to say it, so he does. “I do.”

“You do?”

“Wish for that,” he elaborates, and a barely noticeable sigh leaves his lips when Bug looks over at him with a sad smile, eyes softening. 

“I know you do.”

“I know you know I do.”

“I can’t fall in love with you, Cat.” Bug’s voice drops to a whisper, sad and almost apologetic, like they wish things were different. Like they wish they could change their feelings, switch their emotions on and off at will, live a life of akumas and rooftops and yo-yos and cat ears and teasing remarks and nicknames and _love._ “I’m-”

“In love with someone else. I know.” It’s River’s turn to smile sadly, and he hopes that his mask hides at least some of the heartbreak that’s threatening to make its way to his face. 

Bug pauses. “I was going to say I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to be sorry. You don’t have to love me like that.”

“I do love you.” Bug bites their lip hard, playing with their fingers nervously. “Not like that, but- I do love you, Catastrophe. I want that to be enough.”

“I know you do,” he says, and he rests his head atop of Bug’s when they lean in to rest on his shoulder, their hand slipping into his once again and squeezing tight, like they’re almost afraid to let go. “Believe me, Bug. Your love will always be enough for me, whatever form it comes in.”

**Author's Note:**

> river’s hero name is catastrophe bc he’s a gay disaster thank u and goodnight


End file.
